Recovery
by Meridith4132
Summary: Kurt deals with heartbreak. College futurefic. Less angsty than it sounds, I promise.


Title: Recovery

Author: meridith4132

Rating: NC-17  
>Word Count: 5500+<br>Summary: Kurt deals with heartbreak. College futurefic. Less angsty than it sounds, I promise.

Authors Note: I don't want to say much, except that I had more people beta this for me than any other fic I've written. So thank you to Breanna, Antoinette, Anna, and especially Cindy for reading and giving invaluable feedback and suggestions.

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><p><strong>Recovery<strong>

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><p>Kurt lay on his back and stared up at the ceiling. A pile of crumpled up used tissues lay next to him, which normally would have disgusted him, but at this particular moment was pretty low on his priority list. He had no idea how long it had been, but his breathing had finally evened up and he lay, comatose, feeling nothing but the rise and fall of his own chest.<p>

Numbness was preferable right now. Not feeling anything was so much better than feeling. Feelings were painful. Getting your heart broken was probably the most painful feeling of all, one he didn't wish on anyone. He chose to stare at the pebbled ceiling of his dorm room rather than close his eyes or try to sleep. Behind his eyelids he would see that unfairly adorable smile, in sleep he would dream about happier times snuggled into the warmth of another person, arms wrapped comfortingly around him.

No, much better to just lie here in stasis for as long as possible.

A buzzing sound interrupted his meditation, and with a huff of annoyance he reached out in the direction of his cell phone. He fumbled around until he found it, not bothering to move the rest of his body. He pushed at buttons until it quieted, leaving his hand there as he tried to float back into his numb state.

Ten seconds later it buzzed again. He hit the same button with a grumbled curse.

Another buzz.

Clenching his jaw, Kurt lifted the offending device up so he could see the screen. He debated through another two buzzes before hitting answer, then the speaker option, dropping it face-up onto his chest, his hand falling limply back to his side.

"What do you want, Lexie?" he said tonelessly.

"You didn't come to class."

"I didn't feel well."

"Lies."

"No, its actually true, I feel like crap right now," retorted Kurt. With a sigh, he picked up his phone, rolling onto his stomach. He dropped the phone onto his bed near his head, pulling his pillow in and hugging it under his chin.

The female voice sighed. "Kurt, you can't just wallow in your room. Its been long enough."

"Why not?"

"Its not healthy. Let's go out tonight."

"Oh, so alcohol is the answer, is it?"

"No… well, sort of. I think letting loose and seeing new faces, a little dancing, a little drinking is exactly what you need."

Kurt hugged the pillow tighter. "I don't know…"

"Come on, Kurt… that used to be our thing! Then you started seeing—"

"Do NOT mention his name," he snapped, angry at the tears that threatened to well up anew.

"Whatever. He doesn't matter anymore. He was a stick in the mud anyway. He was boring. You and I haven't gone out in forever. You owe me!"

"I can't decide if this sounds like the best or worst idea ever." Kurt buried his nose into his pillowcase, shutting his eyes.

"It's the best. I'm knocking on your door at 10pm. And I want to see you looking snazzy."

He turned his face to reply. "I'm offended. When do I not look snazzy?"

"When you're acting all I-just-got-dumped, that's when."

"That was mean. Worst suitemate ever."

"You love me. Take a nap, set your alarm for 8pm, I'll be over at 10."

The call cut off before Kurt could respond. He briefly considered skipping the alarm, so he could claim he overslept, but sighed and programmed it in. Lexie would come bang on his door anyway. Maybe she was right, maybe this would be a great distraction.

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><p>The bar was crowded and stuffy, the corner already playing host to a raucous group surrounding a beer pong table. Lexie immediately tugged them over to the bar, hopping up on a stool. She leaned her elbows on the ledge, waving the bartender over.<p>

"Hey, Lex," the bartender said easily. "Kurt! Good to see you, man. Haven't seen you around in awhile."

Kurt shrugged, leaning against the bar next to Lexie. "Good to see you too, Steve. Just been busy, class and stuff."

He nodded. "Hey, how's what's his name—OW!"

"We're not talking about it," Lexie said pointedly as Steve rubbed at his arm where she had pinched him. "What we would like to discuss are two shots and a couple of Long Islands."

"Shots of…?"

"Surprise me, baby," Lexie said dismissively, waving him off. Steve shook his head and walked further down the bar to retrieve clean glasses.

Lexie turned on her stool to focus on Kurt, leaning her chin on one hand. "So…why have we decided to be all mopey today?"

"Do we really have to talk about him?" Kurt said, long fingers picking up a stray paper napkin and folding it into squares.

"I think so, if you're skipping class to sit around in the dark and cry."

Kurt's cheeks flamed as he stared down at the thin paper he was now ripping into strips. "I did not sit in the dark and cry."

"Uh-huh. Seriously though, why today?"

Kurt shrugged, not bothering to look up. "I don't know… someone sent me one of those joke emails and it was actually funny, something about penguins, and I started to hit forward, and it just… I forgot for a moment." He shook his head. "Its stupid."

"Hey…" Lexie reached out and pulled the paper out of his hands. "Its not stupid. He was your first boyfriend. You guys were together awhile. Those feelings don't just go away because he decides they should."

Steve returned with their drinks, setting them down and plunking down shot glasses next to them. "Perfect timing," said Lexie, pushing one set towards Kurt.

"To new beginnings," she said with a grin, raising her shot glass. Kurt managed a small smile and matched her, tipping the glass back quickly.

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><p>"<em>I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan…"<em>

Kurt grimaced. "Why this song? Always?"

"You know that's actually really funny, cause Miley's, like, YOU. Or you're MILEY. You hopped in a cab at… JFK… with a dream in your heart… or something," she giggled and took another long sip of her second Long Island, draining it.

"I don't appreciate being compared to a Disney Channel teenybopper with an obsession for unrealistically long hair extensions," Kurt said, only slurring a little bit. He went to take a sip of his own drink, looking sad when he realized it was already empty.

"Whatever. Let's dance, Miley!" Lexie plunked her glass down on the ledge and tugged Kurt to his feet. He barely had time to ditch his own glass before being pulled out to the dance floor.

They laughed and danced their way through the rest of _Party in the USA_ and the next two songs before taking a break. "Lex, this is fun, but I should get home," Kurt said, leaning heavily against the wall, breathing hard.

"But you haven't made out with a cute boy! Or even danced with a cute boy," whined Lexie. "That was my super secret plan!"

"I thought your plan was to get me out of my room and drunk. Cause you succeeded at those," Kurt said. His head fell back to hit the wall with a thunk. "Ow…"

"Yeah but the other part was _secret_."

"Not anymore. And I don't want another cute boy. Cute boys only lead to trouble."

"Well, I'm not letting you leave until you dance with someone besides me. A boy. Extra points if you get a phone number."

"Leeeex," Kurt whined.

"C'mon, I'll help you pick someone." She leaned next to him and stared out at the crowd, squinting. "How about him?"

Kurt followed her pointing finger. "Straight. I had a class with him last semester."

"Drat. The booze is throwing off my gaydar. What about Blondie over there?"

Kurt shrugged noncommittally, less than enthused. "He's ok I guess."

"That's the spirit! Go get him, tiger!" Lexie said cheerfully, slapping his butt. Kurt yelped, stumbling forward and glaring at his drunk friend.

Kurt threaded his way around the edge of the dance floor, looking self-consciously over his shoulder at Lexie, who grinned maniacally and gave him a thumbs up. He scowled at her and turned to slip into the morass of dancers.

He kept his eyes fixed on his fair-haired target, wincing as he was jostled. The blonde's eyes slipped over in his direction, catching his own and glancing over him appraisingly before returning to his conversation. Kurt paused, confused. Was that a good look or a bad one? Feeling awkward, Kurt veered away, trying to navigate back towards the bar.

A girl stumbled into Kurt's side, nearly knocking him over as she giggled an apology and wobbled off. A stranger's hand had reached out to steady his elbow, eyes looking at him concernedly. "You ok?"

"Yeah," Kurt straightened up. He glanced back over at Lexie, who had returned to the bar and was chatting with Steve. She looked over and saw him, making a shooing motion with her hand.

The stranger's hand was still on his elbow. Kurt glanced quickly over the fitted polo shirt and snug jeans of this new possibility. Not bad… he'd do. "Would you like to dance?" Kurt asked abruptly.

The boy looked taken aback. "Uh, sure…"

Kurt turned and threaded his way into the crowd, finding a small open spot near the center. The stranger followed him, and they began to dance, albeit a little awkwardly. One dance, Kurt thought, one dance to shut Lexie up and then I can go pass out.

The song changed, a beat-heavy remix of the most recent Usher song. His partner was jamming along, for a lack of a better term, in a slightly dorky manner. One overly enthusiastic head toss sent him stumbling forward into Kurt, who reached up automatically to steady him.

"Oops, sorry," the boy laughed, suddenly looking not that sorry at their proximity and making no move to exit Kurt's personal space. His eyes tilted down, and Kurt swallowed self-consciously.

They resumed dancing, much more subdued in their close proximity. He wasn't sure who reached out first, but suddenly they were dancing closer, hands resting lightly on hips, heads close.

Kurt's body tingled with an unfamiliar feel of anticipation, something he hadn't felt in a very long time. The alcohol had definitely taken effect, he felt loose-limbed and uninhibited, reckless. And with the dim lighting and through half-closed eyes, this guy actually almost looked like _him… _Kurt felt a painful jolt, every emotion feeling magnified in his inebriated state. An unwanted slideshow played through his mind, of dark hair and light eyes, a bright laugh and fingers idly strumming the strings of a guitar…

Kurt shoved it all away, dipping his head and roughly pressing his lips to the unfamiliar mouth. He felt a surprised inhale, but hands gripped his sides, and the lips beneath his responded eagerly, kissing him back with equal force. They broke apart, foreheads still pressed together as they continued to move in time.

A hand drifted far enough down to slide warm into his back pocket, sparking another flickering reel of memories, of walks through the park between their dorms, the arm around his waist that usually settled low on his back as a voice teased him fondly about that one pair of pants that was too tight to even fit a hand in the pocket—

They were grinding more than dancing now. Kurt let blind arousal chase away all the other feelings, blinking his eyes to get rid of the moisture that had threatened to build up and overflow. This guy was obviously into him, people had one night stands all the time, this was all part of the college experience. He hated himself for trying to justify it, but right now, in his inebriated state, all he craved in the world was to feel wanted.

He felt a warm wet kiss on his neck, sending a shiver through him. As soon as he turned his head back, he was being kissed again, open and messy. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not, the invasive swirl of tongue was much more aggressive than he was used to. He was used to familiar languid kisses-

Kurt pulled away.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Kurt breathed into the other boy's ear, his heart pounding.

"Y-yeah," came the response, the face looking a little wide-eyed. "Where do you live?"

"I have a roommate," Kurt lied shortly. He didn't think he could go through with this if it happened in the same bed where he had spent sleepy Sunday mornings laughing over crossword puzzles, cuddling and sipping coffee—

"I live in Webster… I have a single in a suite."

Kurt leaned forward, brushing his lips lightly over his. "Perfect." He slipped his hand into the still nameless boy's hand, and led him toward the exit. Steve was busy forcing a glass of water on Lexie, and Kurt tapped out a quick text to her, _Leaving. I'm fine. Thanks._

The walk to Webster wasn't far, though it took significantly longer to get there when being pulled into the shadows and pressed up against brick and kissed. It sent sharp thrills through Kurt that pierced through the drunken haze he was still in. He stayed determined as his companion swiped his key card through the entrance.

The lobby seemed too bright, the hand clutching his felt slightly sweaty. Kurt's eyes swept over the empty couches, feeling like if anyone saw him right now they'd know somehow. He fought the urge to pull away and make his excuses as the elevator slid open, stepping inside quickly. Instead he crowded the boy into a corner as soon as the door closed, taking his turn and kissing him open-mouthed and dirty.

He pulled back as the elevator dinged and slid open, taking in the nameless boy's flushed face and labored breath with satisfaction. It felt triumphant, to have this power over someone, to know he was wanted by this person whose name he didn't even know. It was better that he didn't know. Emotions were messy and painful. Love was painful. This… this was simple.

He let himself be pulled down the hall and into a numbered suite, following the shadow through to a bedroom that felt very quiet and very enclosed all of a sudden, lit too brightly by an overhead ceiling fixture. He watched as the boy tossed his keys and wallet on the bedside table. Kurt followed his lead and toed off his own shoes self-consciously as the boy pushed off worn Chucks and tossed them carelessly into the corner.

He returned immediately to kiss Kurt, hands coming up to cradle his face, and Kurt's eyes slid closed, the rapidly deepening kiss feeling very different in the quiet brightness of the unfamiliar bedroom rather than in the dark pulsing movement of a crowded dance floor. Hands slid up his chest, fingers fumbling at the buttons of his shirt and he drew back slightly to give him space to work. The shirt slid off his arms, and Kurt reached down to tug the other boy's shirt up and over his head in return, dropping it onto the floor with his own.

Kurt felt nerves fluttering in his stomach as they pressed closer together without the layers, his brain registering the unfamiliarly coarse hair sliding against his own smoother chest. He felt himself being guided toward the room's standard dorm-issue bedframe complete with the average boy choice of navy jersey sheets.

Instead of being pressed backwards, the boy lay back first, tugging Kurt down on top, surprising him. Unused to being the aggressor, Kurt hovered awkwardly, hands braced on either side of his head, dipping his head to kiss him and finally lowering down to his elbows. A hand slid and pressed into the small of his back, and Kurt let his weight slide off his knees, bringing their lower bodies into contact. Kurt was straddling the other boy's hips, and he shifted to try and adjust the alignment, feeling a hint of frustration. It was usually so easy, _they_ had fit together like two puzzle pieces, it had always seemed so effortless and natural. _They_ had learned each other's bodies together with shy smiles and hushed whispers in the darkness, trying not to be caught as they swallowed each other's gasps—

An unfamiliar moan cut through his mental ramblings as he slid over the telltale hardness beneath him, and Kurt bit back his own groan as he grew harder himself in response. He pushed up slightly on his hands, grinding down again and watching the expressions flicker over the boy's face. Hands gripped at his hips, pressing in hard as Kurt continued rolling his hips down, spurred on by the bitten off sounds from beneath him, the boy's eyes tightly shut. Kurt leaned down, sliding his lips over the column of his neck, settling on a spot beneath his jaw and sucking lightly. He could feel the rumble of a whine against his lips, felt the quick exhaled puffs of air near his ear as the boy fought to keep quiet.

A hand braced against his shoulder, and Kurt pulled off. A mouth crashed quickly against his own as he let himself be rolled backwards, settling underneath, his legs spread wide to accommodate the hips that pushed in against his own. They kissed hungrily for a few minutes before the boy sat back on his knees, hands sliding down to rest low on Kurt's waist. He hesitated before moving his hand to Kurt's belt buckle, eyes looking up at Kurt questioningly.

Kurt pushed up on his elbows and nodded. He lifted his hips as the form-fitting pants were tugged down and off, feeling again that surge of fight or flight as the cool air hit his skin. Instead he lay still and watched as the boy stood and awkwardly shucked off his own jeans before reaching over to the wall switch and plunging the room into darkness.

Kurt swallowed as the bed dipped and his eyes adjusted to the darkness enough to see the outline of the other boy return and settle back on top of him. Hands roamed over his torso and down his sides to grasp against his hips, the warmth of hands much more palpable through the thin cotton of his underwear.

_So this is what it feels like_, Kurt thought dazedly as a mouth pressed against his own neck, sucking, teeth grazing lightly. _To be with a complete stranger_. The mouth sucked a little harder before shifting to the other side of his neck, settling a little lower, but returning to the same ministrations. Kurt let his head fall back, staring into the darkness, the only light coming from small cracks in the blinds that covered the room's single window. His first time had been a near-constant stream of murmurs and questions, figuring out what each other liked and moving sweet and slow, endless streams of _is this ok?_ and _yes please_…

Kurt gasped as a hand slid beneath his waistband without warning and grasped him firmly, all his attention snapping to the slide of the fingers encircling him. He turned his head, reaching his hand out to find and pull the boy's face in, kissing him hard, his hips arching into the touch.

The body moved away, and hands grasped and pulled his underwear completely off. He heard shuffling and the opening and closing of a drawer as he breathed hard in the darkness, fingers curled into the sheets beneath him. A moment later, items dropped onto the bed next to him as the boy nudged his knees apart, lowering his body back down on top of Kurt. Pleasure crackled through his skin as he felt the boy's bare erection glide against his own, and he brought his arms up to wrap around his back, pulling him closer together as he rocked his hips up.

They kissed messily, breathing heavily into each other's mouths as they moved. The boy's hand slid down in between them, stroking over them both for a moment before gliding further down and grasping at Kurt's thigh, hitching it up over his hip. The movements were unfamiliar and awkward, and Kurt fought down the nervousness that simmered up as he heard the snick of a bottle cap.

A lube-coated fingertip grazed over his entrance, circling and pressing. Kurt tensed involuntarily, inhaling sharply through his nose. The finger withdrew.

"Hey, you ok?"

"M'fine," Kurt replied immediately, tugging on the back of his neck to get him back within kissing range again, hoping he hadn't noticed the slight wobble in his voice. Kissing was good, kissing was nice, would distract them both.

He pulled out of Kurt's grasp. "This doesn't have to happen you know. It's already been sort of amazing."

Kurt hesitated. "I just broke up with someone," he said in rush, cursing the words as soon as they came out.

"Oh. Maybe we shouldn't…" he started to shift his weight off Kurt, who whimpered at the loss of warmth.

"Please… I just want to forget right now," Kurt whispered, hating the words as they tumbled out. When the boy made no move to return to their previous position, Kurt reached out and skimmed his fingers lightly over his chest. When he didn't move away, Kurt pushed up and pressed his mouth to the warm skin of his shoulder, gliding a tongue over unfamiliar territory, trailing his hand down to skim along his side.

"I promise I want to do this," he murmured against the damp skin. He shut his eyes tightly, grateful for the darkness that hid his burning cheeks and scrunched up face. He was even more grateful that he had no idea who this guy was.

The silence felt interminable. Finally: "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Kurt felt the warm weight pressing back on top of him, and a pair of lips found his and kissed him once softly as heard the bottle open again. He bent one knee, opening his hip wide and allowing access. The finger returned, circling only twice before pressing firmly and breaching his opening. Kurt breathed shallowly, willing his body to relax against the intrusion, wincing in the darkness as it slid in so much faster than he was used to. _They_ had actually only done this a handful of times, and had usually moved at a somewhat glacial pace to allow Kurt to adjust.

He could feel breath warm on his neck and the boy rutting slightly against his thigh as the finger moved, a second one joining it and scissoring, methodically working him open. Kurt arched, willing the fingers to move just a bit more and to the side, aching for pressure on that one spot that always made any discomfort worth it. A third finger pressed in, and Kurt bit down on his lip, the fingers working shallowly in and out but still not quite where he desperately needed them to be.

The fingers withdrew and he heard the telltale crinkle of the condom wrapper tearing. _Last chance to back out_, Kurt told himself silently. He didn't move.

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><p>Kurt opened his eyes blearily, looking in confusion at an unfamiliar stark white wall. His skin felt overly warm and he immediately registered that not only was he still naked, he was also not alone. Craning his neck over his shoulder, Kurt saw a head of rumpled dark brown hair barely visible over the duvet that was pulled flush up to his chin, his back towards Kurt.<p>

Easing out of bed, and feeling a hot rush of embarrassment, Kurt crept around the bed, gathering his clothes and slipping into them as quickly and silently as possible. He had seen scenes like these in movies, but had never even thought about what the reality would feel like. This was definitely not something he was going to make a habit out of.

Kurt paused at the nightstand and saw the plain leather wallet sitting there next to the set of keys. Glancing back over at the sleeping form, he debated. Not knowing this guys' name made him feel vaguely slutty, but would knowing really be better? If he knew himself, once he knew this guy's name, it would lead to Google and Facebook stalking… and no, better to just leave this for what it was. Fixating on another person would not help to help him get over—

Yeah, definitely time to leave. Throwing one last glance over his shoulder, Kurt slipped out of the door and shut it quietly behind him, tears sparkling at the corners of his eyes.

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><p>When he finally made it back to his room, Kurt flopped facedown on his bed, various parts of him aching in ways that refused to let him forget what had happened. He buried his face in the familiar scent of his own pillow, resolving to get up in five minutes to shower.<p>

Half an hour later, he managed to roll up into a sitting position and shove off the side of the bed, crossing to his dresser to pull out a t-shirt and yoga pants, thanking the powers that be that it was Sunday.

Lexie intercepted him in the hallway of their suite, looking annoyingly awake and put together. She blocked the doorway of the bathroom, smirking. "Spill, or you're not getting through."

"I don't know what you're referring to," Kurt sniffed, moving to try and go around her. She blocked him easily.

"I may have been slightly intoxicated, but Steve saw you leave with a rather attractive young man, and I can't help but notice what's going on here…" she waved her hand in the direction of his wrinkled shirt.

"Fine," Kurt said shortly, desperate to get under the hot spray of the shower. "I went home with him and had my very first walk of shame. Happy?"

"Aw, Kurt!" Lexie broke into a grin, clapping her hands. "I'm so happy for you! This is so exciting! I'm buying you brunch!"

"I'll settle for a shower in peace," Kurt sighed, sliding past and folding his clothes over the towel rack. He tried to shut the door, but Lexie blocked it a few inches.

"Have your shower, but I'm going to need details while you're at it," she called merrily through the crack, sliding down to sit on the floor facing away and settling against the outer doorframe.

"I refuse to answer inappropriate questions," grumped Kurt, turning on the water, and peeling off his clothes, folding them carefully and leaving them on the closed toilet seat. He climbed in the shower, sighing in relief as the hot water streamed down his back.

Lexie's voice came through the cracked door. "So… I hear he's a transfer student."

"Ok," Kurt called back.

"Do you know where he transferred from?"

"Nope."

"Major?"

"No idea."

"Hometown?"

"Dunno."

"Last name?"

Silence.

Lexie gasped. "Kurt Hummel, if you don't even know his last name I reserve the right to call you a slut for the remainder of our time together."

"Wait, I thought you were happy for me?" Kurt sighed as he rinsed shampoo from his hair. This was nowhere near as relaxing as he had hoped it would be. "Wasn't this your secret plan fulfilled?"

"Excuse me, my secret plan was to get you a kiss and a phone number, not an orgasm. Though you have always been something of an overachiever."

It was quiet for a few minutes.

"So how was it?"

"LEXIE."

"What? I'm not asking for graphic details, just a general overall rating. On a scale of 1 to euphoric bliss…?"

Kurt was thankful she was not in the room to see his face, which he was positive was red. "I don't know… it was awkward at first but, like… 7?"

"Not bad. That's actually pretty good for your average one night stand."

Kurt wrinkled his nose at the phrase. "It was weird. Not being with… someone who knows you that way."

Lexie was quiet, which Kurt was thankful for, finishing his hair routine in peace and enjoying the hot water for an extra few minutes before turning off the faucet. He stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist, glancing out quickly at the empty hallway before shoving the door closed with his foot.

When Kurt finally re-entered, dressed, she was plunked down on his bed, his laptop in her lap. "Lex, I love you, but I really want to sleep right now."

She smirked suggestively. "Tired, are we?"

"OUT."

She sighed dramatically. "Fiiine… but be grateful for your nosey friends. I have successfully filled in the gaps for you. When your curiosity gets the better of you, and I know it will, his page is open on Facebook." She shut the lid of his laptop and slid off the bed, patting him on the shoulder. "This is good, Kurt."

"Meaningless sex?" Kurt retorted.

"Moving on," corrected Lexie. "I know it hurts, and I'm not advocating sleeping around as a way to deal… but there are other people out there. People who might be better for you than—"

"Don't," Kurt said wearily.

"Than _him,_" finished Lexie. "You deserve better." She hugged him tightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek and leaving, closing the door behind her.

Kurt moved the computer over to his desk, peeling back the covers and sliding into bed. He snuggled down into his blankets, reaching out and switching off the bedside light, which didn't do much to darken the room considering it was daytime.

He'd be surprised if Lexie had even gotten the right person. After all, she thought he'd gone after that blonde guy, and Steve saw them for _maybe_ a split second as they left. Which meant that the mystery guy could stay safely mysterious, a nameless figure in a story he would tell months down the line once he got over his mortification that it had even happened.

With a sigh, Kurt shoved the covers back and crossed over to his desk. He opened the lid of his computer, sliding the cursor over to the browser. Several tabs were already open, his own email account, Facebook, and another tab with Lexie's email login page on top. He hovered the pointer over the X on the Facebook tab to erase Lexie's detective work, but hesitated. Did he want to know?

Instead, he clicked on a new tab, opening a new page of Facebook and moving quickly to his settings, putting his profile to the highest privacy possible. If Lexie had managed to scrounge around and get this guy's information, it was possible for him to find Kurt. He was about to close the tab when he saw the red notification bubble on the left.

New friend request.

This could potentially be awkward. Kurt rubbed his eyes tiredly, and stared at the screen, his finger resting on the trackpad. He was fairly certain clicking ignore on a friend request didn't mean they got a notification actually saying they were ignored… he moved the arrow up and clicked on the red bubble.

"You have 1 new friend request."

Kurt moved the pointer over to Lexie's tab and opened it. The name at the top was the same as the friend request, and the face that smiled out at him from the profile picture matched the face that he had become all too familiar with the previous night. Cheeks pink, he scrolled through the profile, feeling odd reading about someone who knew next to nothing about but had seen naked.

Uncomfortable, Kurt closed his profile tab and switched back over to the request tab. Along with the request was a note:

"_Hi… I'm sorry if this is forward, I didn't know how else to find you… I wanted to ask for your number, I know you're going through a rough time right now, but I do really want to get to know you, even if its as a friend. I'm new here, and I'm not the type of guy that has one night stands—not that I'm judging if that's all it was for you, you really don't have to respond if you don't want to. But anyway I hope you do._"

Kurt frowned. The note was ridiculous and rambly… and kind of sweet. He glanced over at the frame that still sat on his desk, the one that used to spark instant tears, the only picture of his ex-boyfriend still visible in the room. In it, he and another boy laughed, their arms around each other, faces pressed together, a lopsided "Happy New Years" crown tilting off Kurt's head. It still hurt, a whole lot. But the pain was slightly less somehow. He picked it up and looked at it for a minute before opening his desk drawer and placing it inside and closing the drawer softly.

Glancing back up at the computer screen, Kurt slid the cursor over and clicked. Here goes nothing.

"You are now friends with **Blaine Anderson**_**."**_

* * *

><p><em>Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end…<em>

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><p>AN2: Reviews are love.<p> 


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